


Live a Little

by xonceinadream



Series: Live a Little [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-09 07:30:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xonceinadream/pseuds/xonceinadream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Albus invites Scorpius on a family trip, Harry doesn't expect to be so attracted to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [slashedsilver](http://slashedsilver.livejournal.com)'s prompt at [kink-n-squick](http://kink-n-squick.livejournal.com): The appeal of Scorpius is that he is so young. It was never finished for that so finished now with her permission.

"Now is everybody all packed? Scorpius, did your mother check to make sure that you have everything that you need?" 

Harry tries for a smile, grabbing Ginny around the waist and pulling her in close, stopping her frantic back and forth through the house. "When Asteria dropped him off, she promised that she had made sure he packed everything you listed. You've checked our kids' bags at least six times. The Portkey leaves in-" Harry stops to check his watch, noticing that all four of the kids have slinked away while he has Ginny stopped. He wishes he could do the same but he knows that he should try to calm her down for them. He wants this vacation to be a success. "thirty-two minutes. Finish making lunch and then we have everything."

Pursing her lips, Ginny narrows her eyes as she looks at him and he sees the way that the vacation is going to go. It's not looking to be a success so far. "This is our first vacation in a long time. I just want to make sure that everything is perfect," she says, her voice carefully controlled but he can hear the tension underneath. It's constantly Ginny's problem, trying to make things perfect in a way that they just threaten not to be. It's part of why they're still together even though they fight more than anything else.

Harry tries not to sigh, the almost smile fading quickly as he lets go of Ginny and watching as she goes back to being frantic, back and forth, packing and unpacking. It's infuriating really and threatens to ruin the vacation before it's even started for Harry. She's right. It's the first vacation that they've had since Lily was three and he just wants them to enjoy themselves. It's why they had given in to Albus' request that his best friend, Scorpius, come along and invited Lily and James to choose a friend. They'd declined, saying that they wanted to just spend time as a family. Harry had thought that was a blessing considering he doesn't want to be stuck with just Ginny for company as horrible as that sounds.

It's tense as they make sure that they have all their luggage. Harry finishes their lunch when he sees that Ginny isn't going to and he calls for everybody. When it's time, he glances around, everybody holding onto their luggage with one hand as Harry holds out the Portkey in the middle of them and they all reach forward to touch it. "You all know how to contact us if you get lost, right?" Harry asks, trying to look at his watch while making sure that he's got a hold of his luggage, they all have their luggage and all of them are touching the Portkey, including himself.

There's a chorus of yes's and Harry counts down. At the last second, Ginny gasps as if she's forgotten something but she fortunately doesn't pull her finger away and it's a typical journey. Their three children fall as they land, Harry, Ginny and Scorpius stepping gracefully onto the ground. Harry and Ginny use Portkeys often for work but Harry wonders where Scorpius learned the skill that is really only built with practice. Ginny immediately helps the children and Harry looks up at the house that they've rented for the week that they're going to spend in the middle of nowhere for Christmas.

"It's nice," Scorpius says, standing next to him as Ginny brushes some snow off of Albus' back. They've landed in the front lawn and Harry looks up at the house, nodding. It is very nice although it's freezing out with a few inches of snow already in the yard. "It'll be nice to be somewhere with so much snow for Christmas."

"It is. There's already plenty of snow and it's supposed to snow even more tonight," Harry answers as he pulls the key out of his pocket and lets Lily slip her hand into his. He'd been surprised when Albus had begged for Scorpius to come, mostly because he knew that as much as he could say about Draco and Asteria, they aren't bad parents. Harry would've thought that they would've wanted to spend Christmas with their son. Scorpius had said that he preferred to come with the Potters, though, and his parents had taken the chance to have their own Christmas holiday. 

Scorpius is on one side of him, Lily on the other as they walk into the house. Harry had seen a few pictures but it's even better than he had expected. It's like a breath of fresh air from his home. There's none of the clutter that they can never quite get cleaned up. The furniture is clean and the whole place is airy, bright. It almost reminds him of the Dursley's but it feels more like it could be home, paintings and plants and other decorations around that the Dursley's would never allow. 

James whistles as he steps inside, looking around at the entryway, skidding his toe along the stone floor. "Wow. This is nice. And didn't you say they have a hot tub and a pool in the back?"

When Harry nods, all the kids are gone immediately, bags dropped right in front of the door and Harry laughs, shaking his head. Seeing that Ginny doesn't look as amused, he reaches out to grab her wrist. "Come on, Gin. They're excited. Let's take their stuff up to the bedroom and let them enjoy themselves."

Ginny doesn't exactly look thrilled about it but Harry isn't surprised. They've talked a lot in their years together and he understands how much she dislikes mess. She's big on clutter, hoarding and saving things but it's all packed away. She can't stand having tons of people's things around. It came from being in such a large family, or so she'd said and so he understands even if it drives him crazy. "Alright, fine."

Harry smiles tightly, hoping that she can't see how the smile doesn't meet his eyes. Although he knows how horrible it is, he just wants to spend most of his time away from his wife. He loves her, honestly he does, but he can't stand it. He can't stand the constant stress. And that's what Ginny has turned into, constant stress. He doesn't want his vacation to be like that.

*

Harry gives Lily a short kiss as Ginny finally takes her up to bed. The fire is still going in the fireplace and Harry and Scorpius are finishing their last game of chess. James had gone to bed hours ago, Harry is pretty sure he has a girlfriend that he's been writing to, and Albus had gone shortly after, bored when he'd seen that Harry and Scorpius weren't going to be done anytime soon. "You're a good match. Does your father play with you a lot?" Harry asks as he moves his rook across the board.

"Yes. Dad and Mother and I all play a lot. Mum was really proud when I was sorted into Ravenclaw. That's the house she was in, you know," Scorpius says conversationally, considering the chess board before moving his queen.

Groaning at Scorpius' move, Harry takes a minute to tap his chin and look at it. He's been playing chess with his kids since they were old enough to learn the rules but Scorpius is twenty times better than any of them. He likes it, actually, likes the challenge that Scorpius represents. Ginny's never played chess with him and Ron never has time anymore. It seems like he's always having to play without using his full skill to not win immediately.

"Well I'm sure that Albus is thrilled that you were sorted there so you guys were able to become friends," Harry says, barely paying attention to the conversation as he concentrates on the game. He finally decides on moving a knight and hopes that Scorpius does what he thinks he's going to do.

Scorpius doesn't, moving his rook across the board. "Check. I'm glad that me and Al became friends too. He's really great. He's really supportive of me and he seems to really like my idea of becoming an Auror."

Harry looks at the board before Scorpius' words catch up to him and he looks up at him instead, momentarily distracted from the game. "You're planning on becoming an Auror?"

"I'm thinking about it," Scorpius says with a shrug, sliding his finger along the side of the chess board, avoiding Harry's eyes. "I mean, I'm only 15. I don't really know what I'm going to end up doing with my life but I've considered it. Why? You don't think I can?"

There's a certain amount of bitterness in Scorpius' tone but more than that, and what Harry can see in Scorpius' eyes when he looks up, is a fierce determination. Scorpius expects something from Harry, expects something from the world Harry suspects. It has to be his last name, his family and Harry immediately reaches across the board, resting a hand on top of Scorpius' before he even thinks about the movement. "I think it's a brilliant idea, Scorpius."

Scorpius looks hesitant for a moment, unsure whether Harry really means it or not before he smiles. "Well good because I do too. I want to help people. The world is a good place in general but then there are people who don't deserve to be here," he responds. "I want to help keep the world such a beautiful place."

They sit in silence for a moment before Harry realizes what he's doing and he quickly pulls his hand back, moving a chess piece without looking.

Grinning, Scorpius moves his quickly. "Checkmate."

Harry looks down, shocked that Scorpius has managed to beat him and he shakes his head, laughing. It's actually quite a change and he enjoys it. "Good game, Scorpius. Maybe we'll play again."

"I certainly hope so." 

There's something in Scorpius' voice, the way that it's low and meaningful, that makes Harry jerk his head up, looking at him carefully but Scorpius is already sweeping up his chess pieces and putting them in the bag that he keeps them in. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight."

Harry stands where he is, watching as Scorpius goes upstairs. There's something about him, about the way that his eyes had looked when he had said that he wanted to be an Auror. Something about the way that he'd said that he hoped they'd play again soon. Harry had meant chess but that hadn't been what Scorpius' tone had sounded like.

Realizing that he's still standing and staring, Harry shakes himself, putting his own chess pieces away and heading upstairs. Thoughts of Scorpius keep him up late into the night, listening to the sound of Ginny's breathing. He's thought a lot about Malfoys, about Draco and how Harry had kept him and Narcissa out of Azkaban. He's never really spared much thought for Scorpius besides the fact that he was Draco's son and Albus' best friend. Now, he really thinks about him, about his dream to be an Auror, about what the world might've already thrown at him to make him look like that about his dream of being an Auror. He doesn't understand but he can't stop thinking of Scorpius' eyes.

*

The three boys are laughing as they wrestle in the water, Harry sitting on a rock on the shore. Lily and Ginny had chosen not to come swimming with them and so it's turned into an all-out war. Wands were left to the side to avoid cheating but they tackle each other into the water, making waves with everything they can get their hands on. Albus had pulled James' swim trunks down and they're on the shore next to Harry, making all the boys laugh as James tries to reach them but he can't. 

Harry can see how close that the three of them are. Even though Albus and Scorpius are two years younger than James, James wrestles with them, playing with them as if they're equals and Harry appreciates that he does that. When James was younger, he'd always considered himself above Albus and Harry's glad that they've taught him better. It prides him on his parenting skills that they've become friends with a Malfoy because he knows that the name is still essentially a dirty word in some areas of the wizarding world. Harry and Ginny had so badly not wanted their children to feel that way.

"Dad! Come in with us! You can be with James and we can have teams!" Albus calls, shivering as he pulls his body too far out of the magically warmed water. The air is chilled with snow still on the ground and Harry himself is wrapped in a warmed cloak on the shore.

Harry doesn't hesitate, setting his wand to the side, pulling off his cloak and the rest of his clothes to reveal his swim trunks underneath and slipping into the water. He's never wanted to say no to his children when they wanted to spend time with him. Albus immediately comes after him, trying to tackle him and Harry takes off. "Come and get me, little Albus!" James taunts and Albus immediately switches course.

Scorpius grins, swimming closer to Harry and there's something in that grin, the same something that was in his words the other night. The boy is only 15, Harry reminds himself. There's no way that there's what Harry thinks there is. No possible way. "I guess that leaves me to get you."

"Not if you can't catch me," Harry says playfully, his words coming out somewhat hesitant but he takes off.

From across the lake, Harry can hear his son's laughing and he glances over, not seeing Scorpius approaching. Scorpius tackles him abruptly, without much finesse, and Harry can feel Scorpius' chest pressed against his. He's still so boyish without the long, lean muscles that Harry has developed as he got older. His skin is soft, pale, unmarked whereas Harry has scars littering his tanned and freckled skin. What Harry notices most, though, as Scorpius tackles him, is the pure joy on Scorpius' face. It's the kind of joy that Harry doesn't see often anymore. It's the kind of joy that he feels only somebody so young could feel.

Harry gulps for air, letting Scorpius take him completely underwater. Scorpius is practically beaming, looking proud of himself and Harry can't resist the urge to swim forward, wrapping his arms around Scorpius' waist and pulling him further into the water. It's a game that he used to play with his son's, ones that they adored as they tried to get away from him. Harry hasn't forgotten that Scorpius isn't his son... no, he'd never forget that with Scorpius' almost silver hair and bright blue eyes but he's forgotten how it might seem. Scorpius stills in his hold and then he's pushing into Harry's arms.

Realizing how long they've been underwater, Scorpius' face is starting to turn pink from holding his breath although Harry's Auror training means that he could stay under for a lot longer, Harry pushes them both to the surface. Scorpius pushes his hair back off his forehead and Harry looks down as Scorpius bites his lip. "I got him, Al!" Scorpius yells over but the two brothers are battling too hard to notice. "I got you."

Harry draws in a breath, his lips parting because Scorpius' voice had been lower and he was right. There's lust there, in his eyes and his voice and all over it. Lust that a 15 year old boy should not be feeling for a man old enough to be his father, who went to school with his father. Harry's stomach turns as he can't look away from Scorpius' eyes, even though he knows that he should. He's analyzing, trying to be wrong but he's not. Not with the faint blush on Scorpius' cheeks. "We should... I should..."

Scorpius grins as Harry abruptly drops his arms that he'd still had wrapped around Scorpius' waist, swimming forward until their chests are touching again. "Live a little. Don't be so scared."

The words are so easy for Scorpius to say but what did he mean? Live a little? Harry can't live by keeping a boy younger than his oldest child wrapped up to his chest. Even if the water is merely warm and Scorpius had felt so hot against him. Even if Scorpius keeps looking at him in that way he does. He can't. Harry can't and so he swims away to break up the fight that's quickly turning serious between his sons. "I'm not scared," Harry calls over his shoulder because he's never know when enough is enough.

From behind him, he can hear Scorpius laughing as he breaks up Albus and James. He doesn't think he wants to know why Scorpius is laughing and he's careful to avoid his eyes for the rest of the day. It's easier that way. He can pretend that he hadn't seen that. Perhaps he had been imagining it, some far off fantasy about the younger boy. Not that that is much better (not at all) but its better if it's unreciprocated. Harry can forget about it then. He just truly wished that it was easier to forget about.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry waves at his family as they get into the car to go grocery shopping. It had originally been Ginny who'd intended on going in the bewitched car that drove itself. Then Lily had said she wanted to go with her mother and both of his son's had said that they had things that they wanted. So now Harry is going to be stuck alone with Scorpius. They hadn't even made eye contact since the previous day.

Sighing, Harry goes back in to try to see what he can do for lunch. He almost laughs when he sees that Scorpius is in the kitchen, sitting on the counter in the tiniest pair of shorts imaginable and eating a Muggle popsicle of all things. He looks like the definition of a bad idea, one that is playing at the back of Harry's mind in a way that he can't help.

"Are they gone?" Scorpius asks, looking over when Harry comes into the kitchen.

A part of Harry yells at him to get out of there. He shouldn't be in there when it's confirmed now that Scorpius really was looking at him with lust. He knows what Scorpius was trying to do and he can't let him succeed. He's sitting there intentionally being seductive and Harry has to cut it off. He's the adult. He can be responsible. "They're gone," he agrees shortly, moving towards the refrigerator to pull out something to make for lunch.

Scorpius lets out a rather dramatic sigh, leaning back against the cabinet and slurping obscenely at his popsicle. "Well good. I don't know how you stand her, Harry. Does she pick out your robes for you too?"

Harry looks over at Scorpius, an unamused look on his face because he knows that he shouldn't be encouraging him. He wonders if Ginny's micro-managing is really so obvious that even Scorpius has noticed his annoyance but he doesn't know why he bothers wondering. Of course it's that obvious. Anybody with eyes can see it. Even Ron and Hermione have remarked on it a time or two, talking about how maybe they should try communicating better or talking to somebody else about their problems. Ginny refuses to think that they have problems.

"You don't really know her, Scorpius," Harry responds finally, thinking back to the girl that he first fell in love with over a decade ago. Ginny just isn't that girl anymore, doesn't have that shine in her eyes, the hope for the world. She's older, wiser and more mature but since she's grown up, she's lost what made her so wonderful in Harry's eyes.

He'd loved her as a teenager, the fire in her, the way that she matched him completely. She had such bright ideas for their wedding, their life, their children. They'd made such big plans for their future and Harry had been thrilled for it. It would be fantastic. But the older that Ginny got the more that she had just given up and her dismay had eventually had Harry giving up as well.

Shrugging, Scorpius catches Harry's eyes as he takes the popsicle into his mouth further, sucking on it. "I don't really want to know her. She's constantly complaining. I'm sure you know that considering you're married to her but she seems so frustrating. You're better than that."

"Scorpius, she's my wife. We have three children together and-"

"Is that why you're still with her then?" Scorpius asks, interrupting and it's probably a good thing because Harry hadn't been sure what he was going to say.

The question makes Harry falter, though, knife still in hand as he works on making lunch for the two of them. Is that why he's still with Ginny? It's true that they don't quite share the same love that they had had before. They'd gotten married because they pictured themselves spending the rest of their lives together but it's just not that easy. Harry wishes that he still had the enthusiasm that he'd had as a teenager, to believe that things could be better. He wishes that Ginny did. "It's not that simple."

Scorpius lets out a quiet laugh and Harry turns to him, somewhat offended. "It really kind of is. Or maybe that question isn't. But let me ask you another one. Do you still want to be with her?"

Harry knows that he should tell Scorpius off, make him see that asking questions like this aren't appropriate but he can't bring himself to do it. They're making him think about things that he doesn't really want to think about but that he knows that he probably should. "You're young, Scorpius. You don't understand that things aren't that simple."

"No, you're just too old. You either want to be with her or you don't. It's that easy. It's whether she makes you happy or not. Fuck everybody else. This is your life and you should be happy."

The harsh words surprise Harry as Scorpius slips off the counter. There's a tiny drop from the popsicle lingering on the corner of his lips as he moves to toss the stick into the trash. Harry opens his mouth, trying to figure out what to say but he can't force anything out.

Scorpius looks at him with something that almost resembles pity. It's something that doesn't look good on Scorpius' features, twisting them in a way that they shouldn't be. It doesn't diminish how absolutely gorgeous the young boy is, though and Harry feels a twist in his gut at the very thought. "I get that you're Harry Potter and the chosen one and all that but you deserve happiness too. You shouldn't just do what other people tell you to do. They're not the one who have to live your life. You do. And you shouldn't just let your wife walk all over you because you used to love her and you feel bad that you don't anymore. I'm going for a walk."

With that, Scorpius turns. He doesn't wait for an answer before heading outside and Harry just watches the door long after he's gone. Is that what he's doing? And if so, how did Scorpius recognize it before Harry was even able to himself? The thought makes him sick and he forces it from his mind. There's no use dwelling on it.

Harry goes back to making lunch, thankful when his family gets back before Scorpius does. Harry tries to avoid Scorpius again that night but he finds himself drawn back to Scorpius over and over. When Scorpius notices, he stares back, a smile curving on his lips at Harry's attention.

*

Harry regrets his decision to sit outside and read almost as soon as he makes it. He hadn't expected anybody to join him since it is so cold outside but Scorpius had almost immediately chosen to come out himself, setting up an easel. Harry can't help but watch him, surprised by the boy's obvious talent. He'd never known that Scorpius painted, wondering if anybody else does either.

He'd dreamed about Scorpius the night before. He'd dreamed about being in the water with him, letting his hands roam across warm skin, dipping down into his swim trunks. Scorpius' body had felt so good against his and Harry wonders what's wrong with him. Scorpius is so young. He looks even younger the way that he is now, splotches of paint on one cheek, jacket shed to the side since Harry's cast a warming spell across the porch.

Ginny's upstairs, he knows, taking a nap and he's not sure where his own children are but it doesn't really concern him. He's not really doing anything by sitting out here with Scorpius even if it feels that way. He remembers his dream, Scorpius sinking down into the water, mouthing across Harry's chest before pulling his swim trunks down and- No. He can't think about that, certainly not with the boy right there in front of him.

The painting is shaping up nicely and Scorpius doesn't seem to notice the way that Harry hasn't turned a page in a while. Instead, he admires the way that Scorpius looks, admires his body, how he has such a radiant joy on his face. Harry doesn't mean to be attracted to his son's best friend. He really doesn't and he knows that he can't act on it, even if that son's best friend seems like he might be attracted to Harry back. It's wrong.

It doesn't feel wrong between them, though. Harry had done a lot of thinking about his marriage to Ginny, thinking about how they never just sit together anymore. When they're at home, they sit in separate rooms, rarely do things together anymore. Their marriage has lost whatever it used to have. With Scorpius it's different. With Scorpius, Harry likes just sitting with him and he'd been content to just read before he'd been distracted with his looking. But Harry thinks that's just being with somebody new. In the beginning, he'd been like that with Ginny as well.

"I know that you're staring at me," Scorpius says after a while, finishing a stroke before turning to Harry and lowering his paint brush.

Harry flushes, ashamed of getting caught but Scorpius sounds amused by it. Harry knows that he's older, he needs to be the one in control and responsible but it doesn't really feel like he's in control. It feels like Scorpius is. "I didn't know that you painted," Harry responds, trying to make it sound as if that's why it's staring.

Scorpius smirks and Harry knows that he doesn't believe him. "Not many people do. Just my parents and a few of my house-mates. It's not really a very in thing to do."

"And you care what other people think?" Harry asks. 

It's too late when he realizes how challenging that the words sound. Scorpius sets his paint brush down completely and sits in the chair with Harry, their thighs pressed together in a way that should be uncomfortable but it isn't. Harry's breath catches as he looks at Scorpius, at how close the boy is. He knows he should move away, press as close as he can to the other side of the chair or even stand up. He doesn't.

Scorpius leans in, intending on pressing his lips to Harry's but Harry has enough composure to pull away, shaking his head. "Scorpius, no."

"Why not?" Scorpius asks softly, not sounding put-off in the slightest. Instead, he scoots even closer which Harry didn't think was possible. He's half in Harry's lap now and Harry glances over at the windows but they're off to the corner. There's no way that anybody can see them unless they come outside or stick their head physically out the window. Scorpius reaches out, grabbing one of Harry's hands and Harry looks down at their connected hands. "I know that you want it. I saw you looking at me and how you held me in the water. I want it too, Harry."

Harry wonders if Scorpius realizes what he's asking for. He's so young, so innocent to the world but Harry's quickly realizing that that's partly what he finds so amazing about the boy. He sees things so simply. If Harry doesn't love Ginny anymore then he should leave her. If he wants to kiss the underage boy then he should. It's just so easy to Scorpius. "Scorpius, I could get in trouble. Your father would kill me."

"I won't tell," Scorpius promises and Harry just wants to laugh because it's so cliché and cry because damn it, he wants to kiss him. He wants to feel those lips against his, see if he can taste the difference in kisses between Ginny and Scorpius. He imagines how sweet that Scorpius would taste, wonders how many other boys or girls that he's kissed. "You can, Harry. You can because you want this and I want you. Live a little."

"You keep saying that but it's not that easy," Harry whispers, keeping his eyes resolutely on Scorpius' as he pulls his hand out of his.

That action makes Scorpius frown, a dimness appearing in Scorpius' eyes that makes Harry want to immediately fall on the floor and beg for forgiveness. Those eyes should never look like that. Those eyes should never have anything but the joy and the optimism that Harry's used to seeing in them. "I think it is," Scorpius says simply, standing up and going back to his painting.

Neither one of them say anything as Harry grabs his book and heads inside.

*

Harry doesn't know what starts the fight but by the time that they've reached the point of talking about the war, he's annoyed enough that he doesn't really want it to end. They're both standing in their bedroom, neither one of them having remembered to throw up some silencing charms so that their kids don't have to listen and yelling at each other. They're both so different than when they got married and it makes Harry so upset but there's nothing he can do about it.

"You act as if everything that happens is my fault. I'm trying to make things run smoothly just like you like it!" Ginny yells, throwing her hands up and shaking her head.

Harry looks at her because it's true. When they were young, he'd been so thrown by everything that had happened to him, growing up too fast and it had been a relief to come home after Auror training to everything in its place. But it's different now. "Yeah, I liked that when we were young. I liked being able to have a home but I don't like you doing everything from criticizing every choice I make to yelling at the kids when they leave their shoes in the wrong place."

Rolling her eyes, Ginny looks at him and she looks angry, angrier than he's seen in a while. He knows that she has her own problems from the war and their childhood and he knows that he should be trying to support her but he can't anymore. Maybe Scorpius is right. Maybe it's time to leave her but it seems like such a big decision, one that terrifies him.

"I'm running the household how I see fit," Ginny says and Harry knows that it's just her being defensive, knows that she doesn't like being criticized but the words rub him the wrong way.

"It's my family too, you know! It's my children and my home and my everything. It's not just yours and you can't just make the decisions for everything."

Ginny lets out a breath and she takes a step closer to Harry. "Then maybe you should remember that instead of acting as if you can't stand to be around us. You spend all your damn time at the office and then you take us out on a vacation where you spend more time reading a book out on the porch than you do with your own wife."

Harry's surprised by the accusation, guilt creeping through him because he knows that that's true. He hasn't wanted to be around her because she's spent half the trip worrying about everything, from whether the self-watering charm that she'd left on the plants is working to what they're going to have for dinner each night. It drives him crazy. "Well maybe you shouldn't be so worried all the time. You don't want to do anything fun! You don't want to spend time with me any more than I want to spend time with you."

"Because I don't like your idea of fun? I'd go out and throw snowballs with you guys and I have with the kids already while we're here! Because I don't want to freeze to death in the water or sit in damn silence on the porch while you read another book? You're right, I don't find that fun! We're not children anymore. I'm not interested in your stupid adventures."

Stupid adventures. Going for a walk in the woods was a stupid adventure to Ginny nowadays. Harry wonders what happened to the fun girl that he used to know and it makes his heart hurt as he looks at her because he doesn't even know her anymore. He wonders for a moment whether she thinks the same thing about him. "I don't want to be boring in our old age. Perhaps we should learn to live a little!"

Harry regrets the words as soon as he says them, even if Ginny doesn't know that they're what Scorpius had said to try to get him to kiss him. They strike Ginny anyway, the assumption that Harry is calling Ginny boring and Ginny just stares at him for a moment before leaving the room. Harry can hear the extra bedroom door slam and he sighs, going to collapse on the bed.

In his own bedroom, Scorpius rolls over in bed, glancing over at Albus. He's surprised that his friend managed to sleep through his parents yelling and he wonders if it's a regular occurrence. Or really, he knows that Albus could sleep through anything.

Scorpius replays Harry saying that they should live a little over and over in his mind. It makes him smirk as he buries his face in the pillow. He wants Harry, badly. He's had a crush on the man since he was young but this is different. It doesn't really feel like a crush anymore. It feels different. Harry makes him feel different.

Harry sleeps restlessly, dreaming of Ginny and Scorpius and his kid's and people's reactions if he and Ginny were to divorce.

*

Harry doesn't hesitate the next day when Scorpius asks him to take him out swimming. They ask the other children whether they want to go but Harry can feel that they're both relieved when they're able to go alone. Harry doesn't let himself think about how wrong it is as he casts the spell to make the water warmer, leaving his wand close to the edge and slipping into the water with him.

"I heard your fight last night. I'm glad that you stood up for yourself," Scorpius says, swimming out a few feet away from Harry before catching his breath to float on his back.

Harry stares at Scorpius' stomach, can see the way that goosebumps rise on his flesh because of the cold. His nipples are pink, hard. His stomach is flat, no baby fat left on him and Harry feels a spark of envy because of that fact. Harry is an Auror, spends most of his time working out but old age has added a stomach that he just can't seem to get rid of. He has to swallow hard before he can speak. "I shouldn't have said what I did to her. I don't think that she's boring."

Closing his eyes, Scorpius doesn't respond, just lazes in the water. Harry stays, taking it as permission to look and so he does. Scorpius lets out his breath after a few minutes, letting his body drop into the water and Harry's eyes widen when he watches the way that Scorpius moves, sees Scorpius lift his trunks out of the water and toss them towards the edge. "You want to live a little. So let's live."

Harry doesn't look down, knows that the water is clear and warm enough that he'd be able to see Scorpius all the way to his toes if he looked. So he doesn't, just draws in a sharp breath and pulls his trunks off, throwing them to the side. Scorpius grins, swimming closer to him. "I shouldn't be doing this," Harry whispers.

"I knew that you wanted me." 

They both gasp as their bodies make contact again, Scorpius wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and one of his legs around Harry's waist. Harry keeps them afloat just barely, both of them kicking as Scorpius looks up at him. There's innocence in Scorpius' eyes as they make contact with Harry's and Harry can't help but think it looks out of place. Here's a boy who just got completely naked and is now pressed up against Harry likes this with that innocent look in his eyes. It's a contradiction.

But Scorpius is innocent. He's young and full of hope. Harry leans in to kiss him without thinking because he knows that there's no way that he can resist. Scorpius is so gorgeous, so trusting and he lets out a whimper when Harry's lips meet his, his lips automatically parting. Harry has to not laugh at the way that Scorpius' tongue presses against his lips, moving too fast, too much for the moment.

"Have you ever kissed anybody before?" Harry asks, pulling back slightly to look at Scorpius.

Scorpius flushes, obvious against his pale skin and he looks embarrassed as he shakes his head. Harry knows that he should pull away, go back to his wife but this gorgeous boy had never even been kissed before. They're there swimming naked together and Harry gave him his first kiss and this kiss is firmer when Harry leans forward. Harry keeps the control of it, wanting to teach Scorpius how to kiss. It demands more from Scorpius and Harry sweeps his tongue through the boy's mouth, claiming him. Scorpius responds with enthusiasm. One arm slides around Scorpius' waist, pulling him in closer and he can feel Scorpius' cock against his stomach where Scorpius is pressed against him.

Scorpius doesn't know what to do with his lips or his tongue or his teeth and Harry works him through it, pulling back for a breath every few moments as he teaches the boy how to kiss. He's caught up, so wrapped up in Scorpius that he barely hears James' voice. He's just grateful that Albus steps on a stick, breaking it underfoot and that causes the two to jerk apart.

Harry swims as hard as he can towards the shore, grabbing his wand and he's barely managed to get their swim trunks back on them with magic before James and Albus come through the clearing, both of them in their swim trunks and carrying their towels.

As James and Albus climb into the water, Harry looks at Scorpius and he can see that Scorpius realizes what almost happened, the way that they had almost been caught. He has the same fear that Harry is feeling in the pit of his stomach. But underneath that, there's the hopefulness, the desire and Harry knows that Scorpius wants it to happen again. Harry is ashamed to admit that he does too.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry doesn't know how Scorpius knows that he's going out for a walk but he doesn't send him away when Scorpius joins him that night. They walk in silence, the only sound the snow crunching underneath their feet and the sounds of nature around them. Their knuckles brush as they walk close but Scorpius doesn't reach out for Harry's hand and Harry just doesn't have the nerve to take his.

It's late, the moon shining down and Harry can't help but look at Scorpius. The faint flush on Scorpius' cheeks tells Harry that Scorpius can feel his gaze but Scorpius just looks straight ahead and so Harry thinks it's okay that he's staring.

Scorpius looks so young, pale and almost ethereal in the moonlight. There are no lines on his face, not like there are on Harry's, Ginny's and he knows on Draco's. He looks almost like a child but Harry knows after feeling their bodies pressed tight that he's not one. It's part of what makes Scorpius attractive to Harry. Harry wants to deny it but he can't. Harry is attracted to his youth, the way that when he smiles it still reaches his eyes. It makes Harry feel dirty but there it is. He reaches out to snag Scorpius' hand.

Harry can feel Scorpius freeze and he's confused before Scorpius shakes his hand free, turning and wrapping his arms around Harry's neck. Harry has no warning before Scorpius is against him, their lips moving easily and Scorpius' tongue sliding past his lips.

There's so much inexperience in Scorpius' very movements, the way that he keeps moving his hands, obviously unsure where to put them. Scorpius' tongue is heavy in Harry's mouth and Harry's fingers are gentle as he reaches up to cup Scorpius' cheeks. "Don't be too over-enthusiastic. Just follow my lead," Harry murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to Scorpius' lips.

Scorpius makes a low noise in his throat as Harry doesn't immediately return his lips to Scorpius', instead choosing to press a line of slow kisses down Scorpius' neck. His lips slide slowly along Scorpius' cold skin and he nips gently when he reaches Scorpius' throat. "Oh!"

"Mm, like that?" Harry asks in a playful voice. He doesn't think about how wrong this is, doesn't consider doing anything but what he's doing. He can't turn away from Scorpius anymore. Not right now. Not on this trip. He doesn't know (he actually does) what will happen when he gets home but right now he needs Scorpius.

This time, Scorpius lets Harry lead the kiss. Harry can still feel Scorpius' enthusiasm, Scorpius' fingers tangling in Harry's hair and tugging every time that Harry surprises him. He tastes so different from Ginny and Harry wishes that the thought of his wife would jolt him back to reality. It doesn't and he just kisses him over and over.

By the time that they're both breathless it's been far too long and they both chuckle as their cold noses nudge against each other. "We need to go inside. Get some sleep," Harry murmurs, making no move to pull himself out of Scorpius' arms.

Scorpius parts his lips, obviously intending on saying something but then he closes them, nods and reaches down for Harry's hand. There's nothing else to be said and Harry feels a sinking feeling in his stomach. He doesn't want Scorpius to be upset. The thought hurts him badly. But when they reach the house again, they kiss a few more times, soft pecks that have Scorpius blushing again as they go up to bed.

When Harry reaches his bed he reaches out to pull Ginny closer, trying not to think about how even though it was freezing outside, he still feels warm from Scorpius' touch.

*

Harry expects the next day to be awkward. He expects to feel guilty or for Scorpius to either avoid him or go out of his way to speak inappropriately. It doesn't happen, though. Harry just feels hot, wishes that he could feel Scorpius again, kiss him, touch him. He jumps at the chance when Ginny says that they need groceries from the store and he's not surprised when Scorpius says that he'll come along for the ride.

Harry wonders if his wife is suspicious but he doesn't care, just pulls over when they're far enough away from home and leans in to kiss Scorpius as if his life depends on it. He knows that it's dramatic and obviously untrue but it feels like it does. He feels as if he can't breathe without Scorpius and he knows just how dangerous that that line of thought is.

"Harry, please," Scorpius whispers after a while, Harry's fingers caressing his chest and his lips moving slowly across Scorpius' neck. "I can't- We have to stop. Otherwise I'm never going to want to stop."

Harry nods, understanding completely but he wonders if he'd have had the willpower to pull away himself. He's not positive that he would. "You're right," he answers simply instead, sighing as he turns the car back on.

The car ride is silent but Scorpius perks up as soon as they reach the grocery store. He acts like a child in a candy store while they go through the aisles, picking up what they need and Harry has to say more than once that Scorpius can't get something.

"What in the world do you need an entire bag of sugar for?" Harry asks as Scorpius hefts it up, begging with his eyes to be able to buy it. It doesn't feel the same as when his children ask him. Perhaps it's the way that Scorpius' lips still look swollen, his hair mussed and his eyes entirely too bright.

Scorpius smirks, biting his lip as he puts the bag away. "To eat it of course. Or to pour it on you and then lick it off."

There's a moment of silence before Scorpius laughs, moving forward until their toes are nearly touching but he doesn't lean in to kiss him. Harry is thankful, knowing that he'd have to push him away considering that they're in public. "Scorpius…"

"Your face was priceless… Although I would do that," Scorpius whispers, his gaze dropping to Harry's lips.

Harry shakes his head, clearing his throat and heading off for more without responding. He doesn't know what to say. If there was no other obstacles, if they weren't in public, he'd probably be begging the underage boy to follow through on that and that is not an okay train of thought. So he quickly pushes it out of his mind.

"So when are you going to get a divorce?"

It amazes Harry how easily that Scorpius can go from one topic to the other. It's something that most people wouldn't just _ask_ like that and while it's frustrating because Harry has no answer he does respect Scorpius for asking the question. "I'm not getting a divorce."

Scorpius lets out a huff and Harry's lips twitch. He just can't help himself because while he knows that Scorpius probably wouldn't appreciate it, he's just _adorable_. "You're not going to get a divorce. You're not happy, Harry. I don't understand why you can't just get a divorce."

"I know that you don't believe me but it's really not that simple. Can't we talk about something else? Tell me why you want to be an Auror."

For a moment Harry thinks that Scorpius is going to argue with him. They look at each other before Scorpius sighs, seeming to deflate and he shrugs, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't know. Everybody's told me my entire life that I won't ever be anything good. Strangers used to hiss at us in the streets, probably would've cursed us if they could've gotten away with it. Mum and Dad tried to protect me but I heard. And it got worse when I went to school. Albus is the first one that ever really let me know that I could do something with my life."

"How?" Harry asks as he continues shopping, listening to the way that Scorpius talks. He likes it, likes his voice and he's surprised that he likes just talking to him. 

Scorpius shrugs, a faint smile appearing on his lips. "Because he became my friend. Nobody else wanted to be my friend but he didn't care about hat my name was. He befriended me anyway. And when I told him that I wanted to be an Auror he supported me. Told me I should talk to you about it. Of course, I've always wanted to talk to you anyway."

Harry chuckles as Scorpius nudges Harry's shoulder with his own, looking at Harry almost adoringly. He's got a shine in his eyes, a brightness, a hope. It makes Harry ache and he can't resist the urge to lean forward and leave a short kiss on Scorpius' lips. When he pulls back Scorpius looks even more thrilled and Merlin, Harry just wants to lean in again. He wants to kiss him and make him smile and shine like that. "I think you'd make a good Auror."

"I'd like to think I would. There are so many bad people out there. If I become an Auror then I can make a difference."

Harry remembers when he'd wanted to become an Auror. At Scorpius' age he'd already seen more than most grown wizards saw in their entire lives. He'd see the very worst, had done unspeakable things. Ginny had as well, possessed by Voldemort before she was even a teenager. It's why he wants so much to make sure that his kids never want for anything. He wants them to have the childhood, the life that he never did. 

It's not that easy, of course. Nothing's as easy as Scorpius seems to think it is. Harry had wanted to help take away a bit of the darkness. But he doesn't think that he ever had such joy over the thought of it. At the age of 17 he'd already felt weary of the world, of being the savior and a hero. He'd wanted to be done with it but he didn't feel like he could withdraw. He was good at it. And it wasn't like he didn't want to help.

But Scorpius is different. Harry can see the genuine desire to make the world a better place. As if one person can do that. As if one person can make a difference that it changes the entire world. Harry defeated Voldemort and he still doesn't think that he did so much and it was a group effort anyway. He likes Scorpius' view of the world. He likes the way that Scorpius smiles with all of his heart. He likes the way that Scorpius thinks that things are so easy. He likes Scorpius. It's no real surprise. The boy is gorgeous, although Harry knows that he shouldn't think that, and is only bound to get even better as he grows into his features. He's smart and funny and witty and Harry likes being around him. It's dangerous.

They talk as they shop, about nothing in particular. Harry doesn't talk about Scorpius' Auror dreams again and Scorpius doesn't bring up Ginny. They just talk about nothing and Harry hasn't had such a great conversation in a long time.

*

Scorpius stumbles into Harry's waiting arms as they Floo to Harry's home, wanting to just be close. They can't get enough of each other. It was hard enough to be apart once they'd gotten back to the vacation home, sly glances at each other over the dinner table. Before Scorpius had gone to bed, Harry had told him to meet him back downstairs later.

Their lips are connected, Harry's arms tight around Scorpius' waist as he keeps the younger boy close. Scorpius is eager, so enthusiastic and it makes Harry feel heated, the way that Scorpius can't seem to get enough. The way that Scorpius is so young, tongue heavy in Harry's mouth and his entire face just screaming how young that he truly is.

Harry keeps hold of Scorpius as he pulls him along upstairs to his bedroom. It's a bedroom that he's slept in for years, ever since they moved when James was two. He's slept with his wife in this bed, conceived their daughter here. Scorpius falls onto the bed first and Harry crawls between his legs, kissing him with everything that he has in him. This won't last. He's not going to, he can't get a divorce. But he wants this with Scorpius. He needs this with Scorpius.

"Harry," Scorpius whispers, his chin lifting as Harry presses kisses down his skin, across his throat, stopping to suck on a spot where he knows that nobody will be able to see if he leaves a mark. He wants to leave a mark on Scorpius' skin, pale, unblemished so far. Harry's the first one to touch him like this, to kiss him like this. Scorpius is just _so young_.

"I know." The words are muffled against Scorpius' skin as Harry runs his hands up Scorpius' chest, pulling his shirt up with him and tossing it to the side. Scorpius' chest is practically heaving even though he knows that the younger boy isn't breathing hard. He's blushing and Harry finds it hard to keep his movements in check, wants to just take him hard and fast. He's desperate for him.

There's so much want building inside Harry as he attacks Scorpius' skin with his lips, nipping and sucking as Scorpius writhes underneath him. There's so much skin to be explored, so much that has never been touched, that deserves to be touched and Harry is so thrilled that he gets to be the one that does the touching. 

Scorpius makes the most delicious noises and Harry can't help but think of Ginny, of the last time they had sex, of the way she's never interested anymore. They're always too tired, too worn out, not in the mood. Scorpius' fingers tangle in his hair tugging, sliding down to scratch at Harry's shoulders, down his back. "Want to mark you. Make you mine," Harry whispers, low enough that he isn't sure if Scorpius hears him. Judging by the moan, Scorpius does.

"Please. Fuck, please!" Scorpius hisses, sounding close to flat-out begging as he lifts his hips, shifts, tries to get anything. 

Grinning, Harry slips his hand down Scorpius' chest, nails scraping across flat skin with a soft batch of baby fat on his stomach. Scorpius breathes in sharply, as if embarrassed and Harry scrapes his teeth where his hand had just been. He continues exploring, finally pressing the heel of his hand against Scorpius' pajama pants, feeling his hard cock through the thin fabric. "I want to fuck you," Harry says. There's no question in his tone. Scorpius nods, eyes bright as he arches his back.

Harry doesn't waste any more time, leaning over to grab his wand, setting it next to him as he strips his shirt off, tossing it aside. He's surprised when Scorpius uses his distraction to push him down, straddling his hips and hovering over him.

"I want to touch," Scorpius explains softly, looking down at Harry with something akin to awe on his face. He looks nervous, unsure and so innocent.

Harry reaches up, takes both of his hands and kissing his left and then right palm. "Yours." Just for the night. For the night, he can belong to this too young boy, his younger son's best friend. After the vacation is over then he will go back to his wife. He has to. Leaving his wife for an underage boy is not in his life plans. But he can have this for now.

That word seems to give Scorpius strength, nerve as he runs his hand across Harry's chest. "You're so much more muscular," he whispers, hesitant as he leans down to press a kiss to where he can feel Harry's heartbeat underneath his lips. "You're so… perfect."

Harry's eyes close, comfortable as Scorpius explores. He lifts his hips, letting Scorpius pull his pajama pants down. He's not wearing anything underneath and he opens his eyes to look at Scorpius' expression.

"Oh," Scorpius whispers. It's not that he's never seen other men like this before, Harry knows. At Hogwarts, when however many boys are sharing a room it's easy to catch a peek of something that somebody might not want a peek of. And Scorpius has obviously seen himself. "You're… wow."

It's a vote to Harry's ego and he has to laugh, chest shaking and he cups Scorpius' neck, pulling him down for another messy kiss, a click of teeth and too much spit and tongue. Scorpius is still too enthusiastic but Harry knows that he'll learn. He has to remind himself that after this vacation then he won't be the one who will be teaching him.

"Can I-?" Scorpius' cheeks flame and he trails off, lips moving as if he intends on saying something but he can't figure out the words.

Harry knows. He knows and he can feel the way that his cock throbs in anticipation, looks up at Scorpius and the way that he's so careful to keep his hips away from him. There's so much heat between them, want and lust and he can feel the way that Scorpius trembles, can see the drops of sweat already visible on his forehead. "Anything. Whatever you want."

Harry can hear Scorpius' gulp and it's so hard not to laugh at him but he doesn't want to ruin the moment. There's so much in Scorpius' vision and he wishes this moment could last forever, this beautiful boy in his bed like this. Scorpius draws in a sharp breath and Harry watches his face. There's a moment of indecision before Scorpius nods, looking resolute and he moves down, between Harry's legs that he spreads for him.

Scorpius doesn't kiss, tries hard not to touch as he settles on the bed and Harry remembers the first few times with Ginny. He'd been so nervous of doing something wrong, of overstepping. He smiles softly, pushing aside his own pleasure because it's not as important as he strokes through Scorpius' hair. "Whatever you want," he repeats.

There's another sharp inhale and then Harry feels the heat of Scorpius' hand wrapping around his cock. Scorpius' hand is trembling, sweaty and Harry groans, his hips pushing up, trying to get more. A swipe of his thumb across the tip, dabbing at the pre-come to make the slick movements easier and then Scorpius is experimenting. His movements are slow as he watches Harry's face, obviously trying to see what he likes, his hold tightening and then going loose again.

"Stop, Scorpius, you've gotta stop," Harry says, too soon he knows and Scorpius pulls back as if he was burned, afraid that he did something wrong. Harry shakes his head, pulling Scorpius down to kiss before shifting them again so that he's on top. "I have to fuck you."

Fear is evident in Scorpius' eyes underneath the excitement and Harry makes sure that he goes slow. Scorpius flushes again as Harry pulls the rest of his clothes off, pressing kisses to the inside of his thighs, teasing him as Scorpius grips his hair. Scorpius gasps, surprised as Harry sinks down on Scorpius' cock, tightening his lips and sucking hard, wasting no time. He can feel Scorpius throbbing, taste the pre-come and he pulls back almost immediately. "I'm sorry. I just-"

"It's fine. Hush," Harry responds easily, knowing that Scorpius won't last long and why is that so hot? A few whispered spells and Harry is gentle as he eases into him, holding onto Scorpius' hips and pulling him closer. Scorpius gasps, whimpers, his fingers sliding across Harry's already sweaty skin, trying to catch and hold but unable to. 

Scorpius doesn't wait long before he nods, begging Harry to move and so he does. The two move so easily together, as if they're meant to do this. Scorpius is so tight around Harry and it just reminds Harry of how young that Scorpius is, of how Scorpius has never done this. "So hot," Harry whispers in almost awe, unable to keep it in another moment. Because Scorpius is. In so many ways. 

"Please, Harry. Please," Scorpius whimpers, a delicious sound and Harry wonders how the boy would react if Harry told him to beg further.

There's no need as Scorpius continues, words a mixture of begging and Harry's name and words that Scorpius probably shouldn't even be saying but Harry isn't about to stop him. Scorpius tightens around him as he comes, pulling Harry over the edge and Harry falls down next to him, grabbing his wand to clean them up before pulling Scorpius closer.

Harry presses his face into Scorpius' neck as he listens to Scorpius' breathing. He knows that they have to go back before anybody notices that they're gone but he doesn't want to go. He wants to stay in this moment with this boy forever. 

"Was I… okay?" Scorpius asks quietly.

Harry's first instinct is to laugh because it's such a ridiculous question but he knows that Scorpius means it. He lifts up his head, looking at Scorpius seriously and he leans in, resting their foreheads together. "You were perfect."

It's a bad idea. Harry knows that it is. He shouldn't do this, lead Scorpius on like this. Scorpius is looking at Harry as if he's in love with him and it makes Harry feel so much but he knows that it's wrong. "Harry-"

"Hush. Let's just lay here until we have to go," Harry says quietly, thinking about what they had just done even as he kisses a mark that he'd left on Scorpius' shoulder.

Scorpius seems to be okay with it, not moving, just lifting up his hand to run through Harry's hair. "Do you wish we hadn't done that?"

So many parts of Harry just want to say yes. It would've been easier if they hadn't. And now that he's had his pleasure and had Scorpius he wonders why he couldn't just wait, just let it go. He should've been able to. He's a grown man. "No. I… I don't. I'm glad that we did. I wouldn't change it."

"Me either," Scorpius whispers, sounding a bit choked and Harry wonders if he's lying.


	4. Chapter 4

Ginny sat on the shore, dipping her toes in the water as the boys messed around. Scorpius kept shooting Harry looks and Harry knew what they meant but he wasn't going to follow through with them. It was bad enough that he'd fucked the underage boy in his marriage bed the night before but thinking about doing something with Scorpius while Ginny was right there. He just couldn't justify it in his mind.

It's why it's a shock to find himself in the cave, legs spread as Scorpius mouths at his cock through his swim trunks. He has absolutely no idea how he ended up here, sure that he was doing a good job of resisting. Temporary insanity, he tries to insist to himself but he knows that it's not really true. It's that he wants Scorpius. He wants him so badly. His fingers tangle in Scorpius' hair, his hips lifting so that Scorpius can pull down his trunks and he covers his mouth with his hand as Scorpius takes him in his mouth.

Harry wants this to last, wants to feel the hot, wet heat of Scorpius' mouth. He loves how enthusiastic that Scorpius is, the way that he doesn't care about pulling his cock out and stroking himself even though Harry is looking at him. The sound of the waves against the rocks are the only sound besides the delicious slurp of Scorpius' mouth.

Harry doesn't bother to give Scorpius a warning before he comes, thrusting up and he can feel the way that Scorpius' throat constricts, the way that he gags. It pushes Harry over and he spills into Scorpius' mouth. 

A whimper leaves Harry's lips as he looks at Scorpius, looks at the drops of come that are dripping down Scorpius face. Scorpius' tongue darts out, licking up the bits of come before Scorpius surges up. Harry doesn't know what he's doing and doesn't even think of stopping him before Scorpius' mouth is on his, his tongue licking into Harry's mouth.

He can taste himself on Scorpius' tongue, can feel how easy their lips are sliding together and he knows that Scorpius' lips are swollen, slippery with spit and come. If he was a teenager he imagined that he'd be able to get hard again but he knows that he can't right now.

Instead, he coaxes Scorpius up into his lap on the rock. Scorpius' trunks come all the way off and Scorpius looks so pale against Harry's skin, so young and small. Harry wraps his hand around Scorpius' dick, strokes him slowly and presses his lips to Scorpius' ear. "Mine, Scorpius," Harry whispers and Scorpius whimpers as Harry squeezes. "Mine. You're all mine. Nobody else has ever touched you and nobody will."

"No," Scorpius promises, his head falling back, exposing a pale neck, marred only by a few marks that Harry's left on his skin.

Harry's hand moves faster, his other digging hard in Scorpius' hip. "You're so young, Scorpius. So much to learn," he whispers and Scorpius' breath hitches, his eyes falling closed. "So innocent. You were so innocent, barely been kissed and now you're sucking cock like a pro and writhing in my lap like you're about to beg for it."

It's the way that Scorpius is twisting that gets to Harry, the way that Scorpius doesn't know how to move, the way that he whimpers and whines as if he's a damn child. Harry's given up. He's so attracted to Scorpius' innocence, his youth.

Harry kisses Scorpius quick as Scorpius comes, working him through it and glancing towards the mouth of the cave to make sure that nobody has noticed or is coming in. No words are exchanged as they kiss a few more times, putting their shorts back on and swimming back out.

There's absolutely no suspicion on anybody's faces when they come back out, mentioning that the cave is quite deep. Ginny kisses Harry softly when he comes to sit next to her and he kisses her back but it isn't the same. When he pulls away, he realizes that Scorpius is staring at them and he flushes with desire as Scorpius licks his lips.

*

The kids are all in bed and Harry sighs as he enters the room that he's sharing with his wife, exhaustion evident in his very bones. Ginny is already in bed, a few papers spread out on her stomach that he thinks are probably related to her work. It shouldn't surprise him. They often do paperwork together before they go to sleep but he can't help but be disappointed. He supposes that it's because he can't stop picturing Scorpius in his bed, legs wide and eyes bright and so fucking eager.

Harry feels sick, comparing his wife with the underage boy that he fucked, with his son's best friend, his _youngest_ son's best friend but how is he supposed to deny himself? Scorpius is…

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to come to bed?" Ginny asks in an amused tone, folding the papers in her hand down so that she can look at him properly.

At one point in his marriage, he might've thought that she was inviting him in for something more than just sleep. At one point in his marriage, he might've wanted that. But he doesn't want it, not now. The thought of touching her… so soon after touching Scorpius. It doesn't feel right. It hits him suddenly, the true reality of what he had done.

He had cheated on his wife. He had _cheated_ on her, on the mother of his children. He'd broken the vows that he'd made to her on that warm August day. He's a despicable person. He doesn't think that he deserves to touch her but he wants to anyway, moving closer so that he climb into bed, rolling onto his side and trying to move closer to her. His stomach is aching.

"Oh. Oh, I… not tonight, Harry," Ginny murmurs and she sounds truly apologetic.

That just makes it all worse. Harry doesn't know what to do, what to think, what to feel. He doesn't even want her, doesn't want to touch her, not really. His hand rests on her stomach for a moment, feeling the subtle movements of her breathing. She carried his children. They loved each other. Love. Supposed to love. She shifts oh so casually away from his touch and he realizes that she doesn't want him to touch her either.

"Harry?" Ginny asks.

Harry pulls away and he wonders how things have changed so drastically. But they haven't, not really. It's just that suddenly he realizes it. Scorpius has opened his eyes and this isn't the relationship he wants for the rest of his life.

"I don't- I just need some air," he mutters, standing up and half stumbling out of the bedroom. By the time he reaches the front door Scorpius has joined him. "You have to go upstairs."

Scorpius looks towards the stairs and then back to Harry, obviously asking if they're really going to be having this argument right now, where Harry's wife can hear. Harry doesn't want to but he relents, heading out of the house and Scorpius follows.

The snow crunches underneath their feet as they walk and Harry can see that the snow is still slowly falling, likely to cover up their marks by morning. "What happened?"

Harry has to laugh, a bitter sound because Scorpius is a teenager. He's naïve. He doesn't understand the world and thinks everything is black and white and that people can have a happy ending and just leave their wife as soon as they want to. "I don't know."

"You're not happy," Scorpius says but that's nothing new. Scorpius has seen that Harry isn't happy from the very beginning.

Without even a conscience thought, Harry reaches out, his hand finding Scorpius' and he holds on. "I don't want to talk about it. Talk about something else. What are you doing after graduation?"

Scorpius makes a little humming noise and he nods as he considers it. "I'm going on to be an Auror," he says firmly and Harry wonders what changed in the few days. Now Scorpius seems to just know that it's what he wants. 

As they walk Harry listens. Scorpius' voice is almost soothing in a way. He speaks with such certainty of everything and Harry closes his eyes, letting himself get caught up in it. Scorpius knows that he's going to be an Auror, that he's going to be accepted into the program, that he's going to change the damn world. 

They walk for too long. Harry knows that Ginny is probably sleep by now and he had meant to change things. He'd meant to send Scorpius back upstairs and go for a walk and try to talk some sense into himself. Instead he's finding himself falling deeper for this boy next to him. Underage and son's best friend are paling in comparison to wise and witty and wonderful. He's young still and Harry knows he has some maturing to do, knows that things will be different.

For all Harry knows, he'll be the same way Ginny is. Ginny used to be like Scorpius, she used to be so wide eyed and full of life. Of course, she'd been possessed by Voldemort at the age of 11, whereas Scorpius had never had anything like that happen to him. He's young, though, things can still change.

Harry needs to drop that line of thought. Nothing will come of it. Not ever. It can't. Things aren't as easy as Scorpius believes. After Scorpius has talked himself out they walk a while longer, until the sun is starting to rise across the sky. Harry lets out a breath, pulling Scorpius behind a tree and kissing him.

They don't do anything other than kiss. Harry presses Scorpius against the tree trunk and Scorpius wraps his legs around Harry's waist but they just kiss. "We're going home tomorrow," Harry whispers against Scorpius' lips and he knows that they have to go back inside soon. His family is going to start waking up and they have to finish packing and they just can't.

"I know."

Harry smiles slightly because he thinks he loves the boy in front of him. He's so young, though and Harry doesn't think that he should. It's only been a week anyway. Seven days in this house and he thinks he's in love with him. It's ridiculous. "We can't do this."

There's a hint of sadness in Scorpius' eyes and Harry can hear when Scorpius swallows hard, can see the way that his throat bobs and Scorpius' hold on him tightens just a bit. "I know."

"I'm sorry."

Scorpius shakes his head, unwrapping his legs from Harry slowly and he rests his cheek against Harry's shoulder, his nose nuzzling against Harry's neck and he presses a soft kiss to his skin. "I'm not sorry. Not for any of this. This was meant to happen."

They haven't talked about anything, about feelings, about what they're doing and Harry feels that sickness coming back. He doesn't want to break Scorpius' heart. He can't stand the idea that he will take away the light in Scorpius' eyes. 

"I'm going to wait for you, Harry," Scorpius promises and Harry looks at him sharply, frowning. He's confused, not fully understanding the words. Scorpius smiles as he lifts up his head so that he can look completely at Harry again. "I'm going to wait. Because you're going to realize that you need a divorce. That you're not happy with her. I'm going to wait until you realize how happy that I make you."

Harry stares at Scorpius with an incredulous expression, unable to believe that Scorpius is really being serious. Does he really believe that Harry is just going to divorce his wife, be with Scorpius? Never mind that maybe a divorce is for the best. He can't let Scorpius have a false hope. Being together isn't just that easy. Three conversations doesn't mean that Scorpius just makes Harry happy. "Scorpius-"

Before Harry can say anything else, Scorpius moves up, kissing Harry hard and Harry lets him, kisses him back even though he knows what a bad idea it is. "Don't. I'll wait as long as you need."

Harry squeezes Scorpius' hand gently, gives him one more (final) peck on the lips and leads him back to the vacation home.

* 

_Two Years Later;_

Harry looks around, a glass of champagne between his fingers. His ex-wife is mingling with the crowd after a polite, if somewhat tense, hello. It had been a mutual decision for the most part, filing for divorce two weeks after they got back from their vacation. It had been necessary. It had been time and they had both known it, even if Harry had reasons that she didn't have. She's happy now, he knows. Dating. She has a good home. The Weasleys are all still his family and he'll always love Ginny. It was a lot easier than he'd expected it to be. Even the backlash in the media hadn't been as great.

It's hard for him to think about the fact that his younger son is graduated now. Only his daughter left and then all of his children will have graduated and then he'll feel even older than he does now. Now he feels a bit heady from it, from the champagne, from the fact that he's older.

He chats with Ron for a while, standing in the corner and watching the girl that Albus is flirting with duck her head and then look up at him again. Ginny's told him that she thinks they're going to get married one day. Harry isn't so sure but he does know that he doesn't want Albus to get married young. Even though there had been a touch of hurt in Ginny's eyes, she'd agreed when he'd said it.

The entire graduating class of Hogwarts and their families had been invited to the graduation ball and Harry looks around, unable to deny that he's looking for somebody in particular. Graduated now. Of legal age. Harry hasn't seen him since the vacation. There was a falling out between Albus and Scorpius and, while they had made up and are friends now, it had meant that they hadn't spent as much time together.

Scorpius seems to come out of nowhere, as if he had come when Harry had thought about him and Harry just looks at him. He's still the same boy with the sparkle in his eyes. Albus has kept him updated on Scorpius, has kept him updated on all his friends but Harry had particularly paid attention to Scorpius. He'd been rejected from the Auror program but he'd just chosen to go into healing. 

The rejection hasn't put a damper on the boy, though, and Harry feels a surge of pride, of respect, of whatever that feeling is for Scorpius that he'd thought was crazy after just a few days with him. Scorpius approaches him slowly, a predatory smirk on his lips, champagne in his hands and a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Scorpius," Harry says quietly, looking at him. Albus had said that Scorpius had dated, boys and girls. They'd talked and apparently Scorpius had slept with a few of them or so Albus had been scarred enough to see a few times. Albus had wrinkled his nose during those words and Harry had tried not to let jealousy burn in him. He remembered what he'd told Scorpius. That he should be the only one to touch Scorpius like that.

Two years. It's been two years and suddenly he's transported back to that cave, back to Scorpius sucking him off and kissing him after. It doesn't feel that long ago. Not when Harry is almost overcome with a desire to kiss him again. It feels as if this boy slipped him a love potion or something because Harry doesn't know how he could feel this strong naturally. He hadn't thought it was possible. He hadn't thought it was real. And he'd certainly never felt it before.

Scorpius inclines his head in greeting and takes a sip of his champagne before he answers. "I heard about your divorce. When it happened of course but I figured that I'd give you some time to think about things." Scorpius sounds almost nervous, his words coming almost too fast to be understood but Harry knows what he's saying. "I waited."

It's as if an explosion went off in the room. Harry doesn't know what he's feeling and at the same time he's hyper aware of every single sound, touch of fabric as people walk by. It's foolish to have such a conversation in the middle of the room with everybody around. Ginny is within eyesight talking to James, his daughter is on the dance floor and Albus is flirting by the food table. 

'Live a little.' The words go through Harry's mind, every time that Scorpius had said them to him, the time that he had practically spit the words out at Ginny. He thinks about holding Scorpius close after fucking him, of how he still wakes up from dreams about him, of how just a few days with Scorpius changed his entire life.

Harry stares at Scorpius for a moment before making his decision. It's an easy decision and for some reason, he feels like he's been waiting to make it since just a few days into their vacation. Scorpius' eyes flutter closed about a second before their lips connect and then their lips are pressed together and it feels like the world has shifted again.

Almost by instinct, Scorpius' arms wrap around Harry's neck and Harry's arms loop around Scorpius' waist. There's so many sounds, gasps and words and Harry knows that they're going to have to deal with so much. His ex-wife, his children, his family and friends, Scorpius' family. Oh Merlin, dealing with Draco is going to be a pain.

Scorpius' lips part and Harry can taste him, imagines that he can actually taste how eager that Scorpius is, how much that he wants this. And Harry wants it too. He's giving up. He's giving in. He wants this.

It's probably stupid. It's probably going to blow up in their faces. Scorpius is so damn _young_ but Harry's done denying that that's part of what he loves.

Harry kisses him deeper, pulls him closer and to hell with the consequences. Harry is going to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the very beginning I knew just where this would end. I do have some ideas about where they go from there but I'd like to keep it up to the reader's imagination. Hope the story was enjoyable!


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